


In the Lost Lands

by azephirin



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Leverage
Genre: Afterlife, Amsterdam, Between Seasons/Series, Bittersweet, Canon Queer Character, Comment Fic, Community: comment_fic, Crossover, Dreams, F/F, Families of Choice, Family, Femslash, Sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-21
Updated: 2010-02-21
Packaged: 2017-10-07 10:45:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/64383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/azephirin/pseuds/azephirin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Then shall I turn my face, and hear one bird sing terribly afar in the lost lands.</em></p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Lost Lands

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [](http://community.livejournal.com/comment_fic/profile)[**comment_fic**](http://community.livejournal.com/comment_fic/) and originally posted [here](http://community.livejournal.com/comment_fic/16863.html?thread=2345439#t2716895). Title, cut text, and summary from [this poem](http://plagiarist.com/poetry/297/) by e. e. cummings.

She's sleeping in a hostel in Amsterdam when she dreams about the girl again.

The girl's face is as serene as ever, her long hair gathered in a knot at the nape of her neck. She's dressed in something long and flowing and green—like always, her clothes are pretty, feminine, and a little out of date. "You're all alone," she says, with concern. "Where's your family?"

Parker knows she's dreaming—the girl only shows up in dreams—but even in her dream, she's in her hostel, in bed, sleeping in her T-shirt and underwear. She moves over and makes room for the girl like she always does. "Come here and I'll tell you. I haven't seen you for a long time."

"You haven't needed me for a long time," the girl says. She sits on the edge of the bed and takes off her shoes—boots that Parker is sure Sophie would look askance at, out of style for years—then settles into bed beside Parker. Parker rolls over into her arms, and the girl strokes her hair and rubs gentle circles on her back as Parker tells her about the Davids, and their headquarters, and being captured, and Nate's son, and how, finally, they all walked away and didn't look back.

"So why are you here?" the girl asks. "In Amsterdam, I mean."

Parker curls a little closer. The girl smells so good. "I don't know. It seemed fun." She wraps some of the girl's hair around her fingers and says, "Are you real?"

"I used to be." The girl's voice is soft, a little bit sad.

"But you're not anymore?"

"I guess now I'm...a different kind of real."

"Sometimes I think I'm a different kind of real, too," Parker says. She kisses the girl's high cheekbones, and then the girl's lips. They're as soft as always. The two of them press closer as they kiss, and the girl's hands are still gentle on Parker's arms and shoulders. The fabric of her skirt is itchy against Parker's thigh. "You're so...dressed," Parker tells her. They take off the girl's skirt and one layer of shirt—this girl likes lots of layers—and now things feel more even, with their warm bare legs tangled together. "Did you have a family when you were real?" Parker asks.

"I had a biological family. And then later I had an actual family. That loved me. And I loved them."

"Do you visit them?"

The girl sighs, and her breath shudders for a moment. "No. They mostly don't need me. And it would make me want things. Things that I can't have."

"I'm glad you visit me," Parker says, because it seems like the girl maybe needs to be told that. "I wish you would do it more often. Not just when things are bad. When things are good, too, so that I can tell you about them."

The girl puts her hand on the small of Parker's back, right below where her shirt ends, just above where her underwear begins. It feels good there. "You need to find your family," the girl tells her.

"But we agreed," Parker protests. "This is how it's supposed to be. We said. And anyway I don't know where they all went."

"You can find them. I know you can."

"Maybe if I pretend to be Alec," Parker muses. Maybe it would work. It worked for Eliot. It worked when Sophie pretended to be her. "The next time you come," she says to the girl, "you should tell me about your family. Your actual family."

The girl nods, but she says, "I don't talk about them much. Sometimes it's hard."

"I won't tell anybody," Parker promises.

The girl laughs a little and holds her closer. "I know."

Parker thinks about asking what her name is, but she's asked before and the girl never wanted to say. It's probably enough that she said she'd talk about her family.

The girl kisses her temple. "When you wake up, you're going to go find them. Wherever they are."

"Yes," Parker agrees. She's sleepy all of a sudden, sleepy even though this is a dream. But the girl's arms around her feel so good, and Parker just wants to put her head on the girl's shoulder and rest. The girl draws her down like she knew that's exactly what Parker wanted. "Kiss me before I fall asleep," Parker says, and the girl does. It lasts for a while, and Parker thinks she would like to know what it would be like to be naked with this unreal girl. She thinks she would enjoy it, and so would the unreal girl. But maybe that can be for next time, too.

"Sleep," the girl whispers, and Parker, in her dream, closes her eyes.


End file.
